20 cruise tips for beginners

20 cruise tips for beginners

Last May, I posted the following photo on Facebook with the caption, "My birthday swag describes me in a nutshell: ambitious but naive at heart." And it's true: despite ballet performances and riding lessons, I'm a working-class girl at heart. Then you'll understand why our 16-day cruise from Tahiti to Hawaii to LA was a bit of a test of etiquette.

alt="tickets to the ballet, riding lessons and, er, a Die Hard box set">Atlas & BootsTickets to the ballet, horseback riding lessons and, er, a Die Hard box set

To help other first-time visitors, I've put together 20Cruise tipsfor the uninitiated. These will help you get the most out of your trip while avoiding confusion and potential embarrassment.

Book last minute

If you're lucky enough to have some flexibility, hold your nerve until the last two weeks before booking. Prices are often significantly reduced and you can get up to 50% off the standard price. However, please note that the trip may be fully booked or prices may increase more than expected once the ship is almost at full capacity. Cruise ships often like to leave some breathing room, so don't worry about filling the very last seats.

PACKAGING PILLS AGAINST SEA SICKNESS

I had been on many boats and was confident that I would be fine on an ocean liner. Unfortunately, on two separate occasions I felt so uneasy that I had to leave dinner early. It's a good idea to pack some pills as a precaution. You can buy some on the ship, but they will be relatively expensive. Finally, apples with salt help calm an upset stomach, so keep a few in your room.

LATE CHECK IN

Check when the ship leaves. If boarding begins at 12:00 p.m. and the ship departs at night, you are welcome to check in at 3:00 p.m. You will avoid the massive queues and stress of embarkation day. If you're worried about being late, settle in at a nearby cafe where you can keep an eye on the line while enjoying a coffee.

ASK ABOUT AN UPGRADE

Ask about an upgrade when checking in. You may not get one, especially if the embarkation day was particularly stressful for the crew, but it's always worth asking. We were upgraded from an inside cabin to a room with a window, but no view! It wasn't perfect, but the daylight made a big difference.

alt="lifeboat view">Atlas & BootsAt least there is daylight!

DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE THE AUTOMATIC TIP

Some cruise lines automatically add a gratuity to your final bill, usually around $12 per person per day, which can add up quickly if you're on a long trip. We were worried about having to ask for a discounted rate of $8, but the process was surprisingly easy: we went to the front desk, filled out a form with the amount we wanted, and that was it. No one treated us any differently and it was completely painless. What I would say is that the cruise staff work split shifts for incredibly long hours. So if you can afford to pay the full tip, please do so. Also note that in recent days, cruise lines are generally offering envelopes that allow you to give customized tips to your cabin steward, waiters, and other outstanding employees. Please give these directly to the relevant employees.

YES, YOU CAN WEAR SNEAKERS TO LUNCH!

Lunch is generally an informal affair, so wear sneakers or gym clothes. Swimwear is discouraged in sit-down restaurants, and a kaftan or some type of cover-up is appreciated at the buffet.

EVERY TIME YOU GO UP, USE A FRESH PLATE AT THE BUFFET

When I first came across it a few years ago, it seemed like the most wasteful etiquette rule I had ever encountered. Soon after, I learned that it is a food safety practice put in place to prevent germs from being transferred from your plate to serving spoons. In an enclosed space like a ship where germs can spread quickly, hygiene is doubly important, so always follow this rule.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO YOUR WAITERS

When our first waiter introduced himself and walked to the next table, Peter and I looked at each other. “Should we have told him our names?” we asked at the same time. The answer is yes. Even if he won't remember it, tell him your name anyway. It's likely that you'll have the same waiters throughout the trip, so you can start off on good terms.

ORDER WHAT YOU LIKE

With the menu you can order as much or as little as you want - with two different main courses or three desserts for two people if you wish.

alt="night-of-three-desserts">Atlas & BootsOkay, so yes, we ordered three desserts

Personally, I was confused by the soup section. Were they appetizers? Pages? Network? In fact, they were a course in their own right. Order one if you want. Don't do it if you'd rather not. Order two if you want. Your waiters have seen everything.

ASK TO CHANGE TABLES IF YOU PREFER

Cruise ships often seat you at a table with other people. If you prefer to eat alone without making small talk with the same people every night, ask the maître d for a table for two. They cannot fulfill every wish, but they will do their best.

DON'T TAKE THE SCONES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

When you go for afternoon tea, never take anything from the tray yourself. When our waiter, the aforementioned Damir, who specializes in dead cheeks, offered me a tray of scones, I asked for a specific one. He tipped the tray towards me, making me think I had to take the scone instead of being served it. I happily held out my hand, and Damir pulled it away with lightning-fast reflexes. “Madam, madam,” he said sternly. “My manager is watching.” With red cheeks, I lowered my head like an embarrassed schoolchild. "I'm sorry, Damir."

CHECK BEVERAGE CHARGES

On our cruise there was free water, lemonade and iced tea at the lunch buffet. Water was free in the sit-down restaurant, but all other drinks were chargeable. Make sure you are aware of any additional charges as a 15% gratuity is sometimes added for bar staff.

DON'T EAT TOO MUCH EVERY DAY

We ate and ate and ate, each gaining several pounds over the course of our 16-day cruise. An occasional indulgence is fine, but try not to overeat every day. It will leave you lethargic and bloated. Try to consciously notice when you are full and then stop!

FORGIVE FORMAL NIGHTS IF YOU PREFER

Most cruise ships have at least one formal night on the itinerary. We had three nights which required jackets and cocktail attire. Unfortunately, we don't carry anything fancy in our backpacks, so we had to skip those nights altogether. If you're in the same boat (no pun intended), don't fret: there are other options. On most ships, you can eat at a buffet or casual restaurant, or order room service at no extra charge.

TAKE THE LAND TOURS YOURSELF

There is usually a hefty surcharge on excursions booked through the cruise line itself. If you don't mind the extra hassle, organize a tour yourself instead. Either rent a vehicle and do it yourself or contact the tour operators directly to avoid the surcharge. However, keep in mind that the next point is very important if you decide to do it yourself.

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TAKE THE LAND TOURS YOURSELF

Onboard internet is horrendously expensive (and slow!) and the information provided isn't always adequate, so research your port calls in advance so you know what you want to do. It doesn't hurt to have a few options either. We were casual about our research for Moorea and planned to hop on a scooter for the day. When we arrived the rental company discouraged us as neither of us had ridden a scooter before. Since we couldn't afford a rental car, we had to walk an hour and a half to the nearest attraction - not the best use of time when you only have a limited number of hours on land.

TAKE ID FOR PORT CALLS

Always take your driver's license or passport with you when making port calls. I left mine on the ship during our first stop in Hawaii (most likely infatuated with the ease of immigration on board). On my return to the ship I was stopped and questioned, which sparked a lot of walkie-talkie shenanigans. Needless to say, I didn't forget it on future stops.

DON'T BE LEFT BEHIND

It's surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you're exploring a new city, town, or island. Allow enough time to return to the boat. If you know that you are generally absent-minded, set an alarm to remind you. If you don't get there on time, the boat will leave without you, so you'll have to find your own way to the nearest port.

Try the conversation with caution

The onboard entertainment can be predictably cheesy. If you're unsure about a particular show, choose a spot near the back so you can easily escape. We practiced this route on two different occasions and on almost a third.

BE FLEXIBLE AND RESPECTFUL

Cruises offer luxury travel at premium prices, so it's understandable why passengers expect impeccable service. However, remember that you are in an enclosed space with limited resources in the middle of a large body of water. The staff may not have the very specific dressing you like with your side salad, or it may take a little longer than usual to resolve an issue with your room. Be patient and respectful at all times. You (and I) most likely have no idea how hard they work. Always take it easy. You are on vacation. There is absolutely no reason to stress.

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