I haven't preferred traveling to the children; I just don't want

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I recently came across the Facebook status of a friend who made me laugh because he reflected conversations with my own family.

old = ""Posted with permissionA friend's Facebook status

The pressure to settle down not only comes from the family, but often also from friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Sometimes nagging is carefree. It is annoying with others. Occasionally it is offensive.

One of the most offensive questions that someone has ever asked me is: "Travel to fill the gap, not have children?"

There were so many annoying assumptions in the question that I needed a minute to unpack all of them: the idea that I was incomplete without young people, not because I found it interesting, but to fill a yawning gap in my life that I was dishonest or somehow when I said that I don't want my own opinion.

It was a double -edged insult that I could neither confirm (it was not right) nor denied (because then I would protest too much).

Since then, almost every friend at my age has received children, but I have remained childless-not because I run a 007 life full of miracles and intrigue, but simply because I never wanted children.

It is not because I am selfish, as I used to think; It is not because I didn't find the right man; It is not because I'm afraid that I will lose my figure; And that's not because I can't afford it. This is because I don't want children.

Since I was 18, friends and family have told me that one day I would change my opinion, so I have remained open to the idea towards the idea, but the need for children never arose. I have asked myself factually and pragmatically in recent years whether I would like a child - and the answer was always no.

old = ""Atlas & BootsWith 20 nieces and nephews I spend a lot of time with children, but never wanted to have their own

I held newborn children in my arms and looked into their beautiful little faces and seriously asked me: "Do I want one of you?" The answer is always no. I thought about the loneliness of age and asked if it is justified to have children. The answer is always no.

While I am closer to the crisis (I'll be 35 next year), I asked myself the question again, and the answer I think is still no. A small part of mine is worried that one day I change my opinion and it will be too late. The other part knows that the only reason why I think about it is the rhetoric about the topic: women who have no children should not only feel repentance, but also "grief". Those who have children say that it is the "largest in the world".

I am sure that it is so and it does not depend on who they are and which day is today, but this promise of size has not yet influenced me.

When Peter and I had our first date a few years ago, I mentioned in a conversation that I didn't want children, but that everyone tells me that I would think about it differently.

He said: "I don't buy it if others insist that you change your opinion about such a big deal. I mean, people don't wake up one day and suddenly decide that they are fascists."

We then laughed and ate dessert and talked until the end of the day. Years later I didn't become a fascist and I still don't want children.

So, no, I'm not traveling to fill a gap in my life. I travel because I enjoy it. This is pretty much everything that goes with it.

old = ""

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