Vacation or argument? This is how couples avoid conflicts during the stress of the summer holidays!

Vacation or argument? This is how couples avoid conflicts during the stress of the summer holidays!

For many couples, vacation time is an opportunity to relax and unwind. But it is precisely in this supposedly harmonious time that unexpected conflicts can arise. A first argument can start before breakfast, be it over different holiday activities such as jogging versus sleeping in and drinking coffee. According to psychologist Barbara Horvatits-Ebner, two thirds of couples are affected by arguments while on vacation. In fact, a study by the Society for Scientific Conversation Psychotherapy in Cologne shows that around a third of all divorces are filed after traveling together.

The emotional tension that arises during vacation can reveal deeper cracks in a relationship. High, often unrealistic expectations play a crucial role here. Couples tend to want to use their vacation to compensate for what they have missed during the year. These expectations often lead to disappointment. Research from the University of Washington also shows that divorce rates increase particularly early in the year and late summer, while winter and summer holidays are considered culturally sacred times during which divorce is perceived as inappropriate.

Causes of conflict on vacation

On vacation, couples often experience a compression of time and closeness, which can be both positive and negative. While everyday life distracts from conflicts through work and hobbies, couples on vacation find it more difficult to ignore unprocessed conflicts. Couples therapist Vera Matt highlights that inquiries increase after the holiday season, as couples often take the opportunity to clarify things during this period. Limited space and the lack of opportunities to retreat also contribute to conflicts.

The psychologists Hans-Georg Lauer and Patrick Heym recommend formulating realistic expectations in advance and creating space for individual needs in everyday life. Unspoken wishes can easily lead to tension on vacation when the stress of everyday life is removed. During arguments, partners should focus on listening and exploring each other's needs. It is also not taboo to occasionally go your separate ways on vacation in order to take different interests into account.

The chance to strengthen the relationship

If these conflicts are addressed constructively, traveling together can also provide an opportunity to strengthen the emotional connection between couples. However, the high expectations should be questioned in order to experience a positive holiday season. Couples should remember that traveling together is as much an opportunity to strengthen the relationship as it can be a challenge. Ultimately, it requires mutual understanding and respect so that the vacation does not become a stress test, but rather a valuable experience.