Rules of the London subway

Rules of the London subway

While we approach our last trip with the terrible/amazing London subway, we share an introduction to uninitiated ...

ah, so you have arrived in the City of London, the land of tea, the crumpets and the people who often apologize. The land of Notting Hill and Love, actually and awkward gentlemen that become red when you compliment them. The city of Yeoman Warders and Queen’s Guard and quirky social rituals that are so charming English.

What you do not yet know is that we are transforming English into demons in the subway. When we descend into the surface, the decency is weathered, replaced by a determined wish to get where we want to go, and quickly.

The London subway is a minefield, and yet unsuspecting visitors are released every day for no reason. Ideally, TFL would hand over an OysterCard a set of rules and provide tick cards for use with rulers. Instead of sighing passive and aggressively or rustling with the newspaper, we could simply circle the corresponding rule and hand over the card to the perpetrator. Instead of a TFL guide for civilization, we have put together our own rules for the London subway to help future travelers and locals alike.

enter the station

Find your OysterCard before reaching the barriers. If you stop and rummage around in your pocket, people will want to do violence.

touch the reader with your OysterCard as soon as the other person has been placed green. Don't wait for the barriers to close behind you. If the 3 million passengers who pass the system every day would do this, the city would come to a standstill.

If you have received a green beep, take your OysterCard from the reader. You don't have to cut your shoulders by leaving the card on the reader until you have passed the barriers safely. It may feel like a temple of death, but it is just the tube, not Indiana Jones film 🙂

If your card beeps red, don't try it again and again. Take a step back to reset the sensor and then try again. If the second attempt fails, try another reader. If this does not work, seek help.

stand on escalators on the right and go on the left. This is the sacred grail of the rules and should only be broken at your own risk.

Get into the train

Wait for people to get out before you get in. Simple.

If someone who is already on the train is temporarily getting out to let people get out, they have priority when getting back. Do not crush in front of them.

don't get on the train and then stop immediately. They are people behind you, so stay in motion - yes, even if your stop is the next.

don't keep the doors open. Don't be the selfish idiot who is all.

If you are in one of these golden, rare moments when there are many empty seats, do not sit next to someone when seats with empty seats are available on both sides.

If someone is old, pregnant or disabled, they get the seat - not you.

trips on the train

ellbogen and knees please within the limits of their own seat.

did not read the newspaper of someone else. Seriously, it is like stealing a first born child.

Do not make an eye contact and don't speak to anyone unless it is after 9 p.m. and one of them is drunk.

If you have difficulty recognizing whether your music is loud, try to put your headphones against your knees to see if you can listen to your music. If so, it's too loud.

The "above-ground" parts of the subway are not there for their convenience, so do not use them to make a short call. The passengers are not interested in the details in the life of the other.

Do you see the poles in the middle of the carriage? You are there so that the passengers can hold on to it, so do not lean against you with your sweaty back.

If you have a large backpack in a crowded train, take it off and put it between your legs.

If we can hear how you kiss the new girl you got to know on this thing, you kiss too loudly. In fact, if you can hear your kisses, you kiss too loudly. Do you know what? It is only easier if you don't. At least not before lunch.

Speaking of lunch, please do not have any hot or smelly in the subway. A sneaky chocolate bar or a sandwich are acceptable. It's not a burger.

No care. Je. Don't do it. This includes plucking eyebrows, filing nails, cutting nails, painting nails. In fact, they do everything with their nails.

leave

take your garbage with you. Yes, we know that there are no trash cans in the subway (IRA had the annoying habit of leaving unwanted gifts in it), but please take your garbage with you. You can leave your newspaper on the train, but everything else has to go with you.

not. People are waiting to get out of the train, so they get out quickly and stay in motion. Do not check your phone or read your Kindle or do not do anything else that could slow down into an unconscious crawl.

If you go next to a person who goes at the same pace as you, go behind them instead of them so that other people can come past you.

Do not stop at the top of the escalators to find out where to go. People come behind you and the only place they can go is directly in your back.

We know that your child is lovable if it behaves like an adult and even touch the OysterCard on the reader or press the call button that it cannot quite reach, or want to go down the stairs that is too big for it - but that is a death -safe way to annoy fellow travelers who want to happen as soon as possible. Don't stop them.

And finally when you see a beautiful girl on the train like a certain former army captain, don't expect to write a song about her and not become a national hate figure.

Safe travel!

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