7 cultural faux pas in London

7 cultural faux pas in London

There's nothing that makes Londoners as angry as standing on the left side of an escalator. Avoid this and other cultural faux pas in London with our advice below.

1. Using the London Underground incorrectly

This is such a minefield that we wrote a whole separate post about it. Read London: Rules of the Underground to avoid the many, many faux pas this gauntlet throws up.

2. Trying to pronounce Leicester Square without prior training

It is pronounced lester, not lies-ses-ter or lee-ses-ter or some similar permutation. Likewise, you should probably ask a Londoner how to pronounce Marylebone, Westminster, The Mall, Grosvenor Square and Berwick Street before doing it in the wild. It is also useful to note that the “Street” or “Road” part of a location is important.

If you're American, you might be tempted to say you live on "Pembridge," but that could mean Pembridge Villas, Pembridge Road, Pembridge Gardens, Pembridge Place, Pembridge Crescent, and so on.

3. Wearing a Barbour jacket outside of Hackney or Chelsea

If you have a penchant for Barbour jackets or Hunter wellies or other traditional British garments re-appropriated by the hipster classes, you'll do well to stay within the confines of Hackney or affluent Chelsea. Otherwise, you'll likely be ridiculed as a "stubborn" (unless you're actually a farmer, in which case you're probably fine).

4. Use rail replacement services instead of just canceling them

When it comes to taking TfL's rail replacement service or staying at home, stay at home. If you really must travel, take a taxi or walk or crawl, or hire a group of sloths to drag you there instead. All of these options will be faster and less stressful.

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5. Be wary of the C-word

Londoners swear! We harness the expressiveness of fucking in all its expansive beauty. We have a hundred different synonyms for “penis” and are not afraid to use them, often affectionately but usually pejoratively. Our TV presenters use shit and crap and wankers, among other things. Accept this.

6. Ask a black taxi to take you south of the river

Despite the prosaic appeal of Dulwich and the dogged insistence that Peckham is well and truly on the rise, south London is still largely seen as a Mordor-like presence settled beneath the safe confines of the Thames.

You can reach its depths by public transport (the orcs have to get home somehow), so don't ask the driver of a black taxi to cross the river for you.

7. And finally… touch the queen

You don't touch the queen. She touches you when she wants to, but you don't touch her. It doesn't matter if you're an Olympic gold medalist or the first lady of the United States: the rule still applies. (Pay attention, Mrs. Obama.)

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Very British Problems by Rob Temple is a hilarious look into the British psyche.

Main image: TFL

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