6 things not to say to an expat

6 things not to say to an expat

As part of Internationals' culture shock questionnaire, people were asked to share what they were tired of hearing from people in their old or new country–and share what they did. Here is a list of recurring themes in words straight from the mouths of expats. If you have an expat friend or family member, you may want to refrain from doing this…

“You are so happy”

Yes, we understand that we are in a sunnier country with friendlier people and better job opportunities, but repeating how "lucky" we are implies that courage, hard work and persistence have not played a role. If you want to live where we live, you can, but you choose not to. This isn't because you're unlucky; It is a choice you have made, just as my new country is a choice I have made.

“Can you speak fluently yet?”

Seriously, do you know how long it takes to become fluent in a language? So many of us spend hours every day learning our new language, and it's frustrating enough when after a year we're not even at kindergarten level. Asking if we are fluent still makes us feel embarrassed and inferior, so please don't do it!

“Please, it can’t be that bad.”

When I complain about how frustrating it is to open a new bank account when I don't have a permanent address, please don't say, "It can't be that bad! You live on the beach!" or "You've got sunshine all year round! Try queuing for Natwest in the pouring rain!"

Just because I moved doesn't mean all of my problems have melted away. My new country may have better weather, but that doesn't automatically solve all my problems.

“Not that you care.”

I'm in a new country that I call home, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested or concerned about the conditions in my old home. In the run-up to the 2015 UK general election, I was told more than once that it was none of my business because I had been in Australia for two years. I still care about the NHS, our education system and all the things that make Britain Great Britain. It means something to me. Don't tell me it doesn't.

“You should try to make friends with more locals”

Okay, I know I have more English-speaking friends than not, but it's easier to contact them–currently. Until I learn the local language at an advanced level, I will only be able to converse with locals to a limited extent. English is the language in which I think, cry, get high, and sometimes I just need people who are effortless to be with. Local friends will come in time, I promise.

“When are you moving back home?”

Do you think I packed 20 tons of luggage and hauled it across the Atlantic for fun? No. My new country is my new home. Maybe one day I will “move back home,” but I don’t know for sure. At the moment I'm trying it in my new home. Please support me instead of acting like it's a phase.

Mission statement: Dreamstime

      .