The confrontation with Where are you originally from?” Ask

The confrontation with Where are you originally from?” Ask

I've mentioned before that my vague tan combined with my British accent tends to confuse people, especially when I'm out and about. The way I see it, I can answer where you're coming from in three ways:

I'm leaning towards choosing option 1. Option 2 seems rude (as much as it depends), while option 3 seems unwarranted, at least initially. Unlike some of my “undetermined” friends, I actually don’t mind the question; I just wish people would ask it more directly. It seems that expats and other tourists struggle with this much more than locals. Instead of asking me where my family is from (which I think is the best way to ask the question), they will skirt the topic and ask all sorts of related questions, but not the question itself.

In Samoa I said to Peter that it was amusing how many people asked where I was “originally” from. He looked at me confused, "I've never asked you that before. You usually just tell them, right?" he asked, as if I were a faded pop star peddling a biography that no one wants to read.

"Um, no. People ask it without asking and I don't like ignoring them."

The very next morning we met a backpacker friend who asked us at breakfast where we were from. “London,” Peter replied. The guy took one look at me and said, “Both of you?” Peter, suddenly understanding what I meant, snapped back: "Yes, both of us."

A few weeks later, this time in French Polynesia, a Frenchman asks where we come from. Peter tells him we are from Britain. Later, when I make a joke about the English weather, he says: “Oh, you’re from the UK too?” I nod in confirmation. A little later Peter mentions that I speak a little Spanish. The Frenchman turns to me with sudden enlightenment and says: “Ohh, you’re Spanish.” I look him straight in the eyes. “No, I’m just learning Spanish.” This whole thing would have been easier if he had just asked the damn question.

I'm thinking about a Tumblr blog: Inventive Ways To Ask Foreign Looking People “Where Are You From Originally?” Collecting a lot of material. — Kia Abdullah (@KiaAbdullah) September 30, 2014

So, here it is: If you want to know where someone is originally from, say, “Where is your family from?” And if someone asks you the question, just tell them what they want to know. It's not racist, mostly curious. Yes, it's tiring, but it's a lot easier than answering 17 other questions while the guy plays Sherlock.

Mission statement: Atlas & Boots

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