It can be assumed sexist, I am not adventurous

It can be assumed sexist, I am not adventurous

Regardless of what some may think, I don't do any adventurous things just because my friend likes her

Last week Peter and I spoke to a friend (let's call him Jack) about our possible trip to Australia next year. At a joint pizza, Peter mentioned that he would like to dive with sharks in Perth.

Jack took a look at me and laughed. "Ha, I don't assume that you will do it to him because of that." I nodded. "Yes, as long as the sharks are treated responsibly." "'Responsible?’ "He encountered Peter. "It sounds like she is trying to get out of it, buddy."

I struggled, but smiled politely as the British do so often. There was no point in convincing Jack that I enjoyed adventure as much as Peter. I don't like to freeze in the mountains, but I booked our parachute jump from 4,000 meters.

Kia jumps from an airplane

I am the one who jumped in Samoa from a rocky lead when Peter was skeptical about the protruding rock under the Lippe.

alt = ““> A fellow traveler dares to jump in Samoa

I hiked on active volcanoes and dipped with sharks, crossed the landslide and crossed the gorges with rope slides - but showing all of this, they would have felt petty and trivial (as is now the case).

The reason why Jack's presumption is so grueling is that I see this type of rejection all the time. If Peter and I do something exciting or scary, I am seen as the suffering girlfriend who gets into a crazy prank to prove that we have common interests.

In the great scheme of sexism, Jack and his peers are relatively harmless, but their behavior is still worth being addressed. The knowing looks and condescending wink indicate that I am a "cool girl", as it is described in Gillian Flynn's "Gone Girl".

The Cool Girls are even more pitiful: they don't even pretend to be the woman you want to be, you pretend to be the woman a man wants from you. Oh, and if you're not a cool girl, I ask you not to believe that your husband doesn't want the cool girl. It can be a slightly different version - maybe he is a vegetarian, so it loves cool girl Seitan and is great with dogs; Or maybe he is a hipster artist, so cool girl is a tattooed, busy nerd who loves comics. There are variations of the window decoration, but believe me, he wants cool girl, which is basically the girl who likes everything he likes and never complains.

I don't do scary things because my friend likes to do her. I do it because I like to do it. And when he pulls off to climb high mountains or camp in the wilderness, I am absolutely sure that he can do it alone.

Jack's light sexism is less important to me than improving diversity in nature and the protection of our wilderness, but it is still important to highlight it because it is not limited to nature.

I can guarantee that women who like football or ice hockey or other male -dominated sports, get the same type of headaches, "sure that they are a real fan". A woman who likes Star Trek or World of Warcraft or any number of "nerdige" jobs is said that she is "not like other girls", a big compliment if there has ever been one.

We live in a society in which so many things are unnecessarily gender -specific - from butterfly to ballpoint pen. Please, don't let us do a gender adventure.

See you out there - with or without Peter.

kia

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don't cry, love sports, play rough, drink beer, don't talk about feelings. How not to be a boy from Robert Webb explores the mine field of masculinity and makes a way through the absurd expectations that are placed on modern men.

main picture: PR-picture

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