How I overcame my fear of spiders

How I overcame my fear of spiders

A wave of skepticism snakes through my body. I close my eyes and slow my breathing, determined to give John a fair chance. His voice is gentle and lulls me into a state of calm. After a few minutes, he begins his chant: "From this point on, you will be calm, relaxed and at ease in the presence of spiders." I try to absorb his words, internalize them, really believe them.

“You’re in control,” he continues. “They are calm, relaxed and relaxed around spiders.” His words come in various incarnations, but always assure me that I will remain “calm, relaxed and at ease in the presence of spiders.”

This hypnotherapy is not like those TV shows where a viewer dances like a chicken when someone calls out “soup.” I feel dazed and relaxed, but acutely aware of my surroundings: I'm lying in a large room with about 20 other arachnophobes, my eyes closed against the light, in the deep hope that clinical hynotherapist John Clifford knows what he's doing.

The afternoon had started with us all gathering in a theater. John and London Zoo spider expert Dave Clarke told us what we can expect from the four hour session. They explained that, yes, it seems a farce that a lifelong fear could be erased in a single afternoon, but that it has been proven effective in thousands of people.

Officially I was there to review the Rough Guides program. Unofficially, I was preparing for Atlas and Boots' world tour. I knew I would hike in the Amazon, camp in Colombia, and explore Venezuela. I couldn't let my fear of spiders ruin my trip–and so, with uncharacteristic optimism, I signed up for the Friendly Spider Program at London Zoo.

old=““>Atlas & BootsHandling the tarantula Maggie at London Zoo, March 2014

After the introduction, we had a group “bonding” session where we explained what freaked us out about spiders (“how they crawl so fast,” “their furry legs,” “so many legs,” “their black bodies,” and so on). John carefully wrote down all the reasons. Afterwards, Dave took the coat and explained a few facts about spiders, highlighting the fact that they always run away from people. He detailed their habits and motivations, essentially trying to “humanize” them.

After a refreshment break came the group hypnosis session which makes me wonder why I'm lying on the floor with 20 strangers trying to believe that I would stay calm, relaxed and at ease in the presence of spiders. After half an hour, John tells us to imagine our fear as a heavy black cloud. He asks us to imagine it floating higher and higher in the sky until it is finally pulverized in our minds. When we emerge from hypnosis, we are all a little embarrassed, complicit in our silent doubt.

Then comes the actual test. We head to the BUGS section of the zoo to meet some spiders first hand. I touch a few house spiders and still feel shivers down my spine. I then try capture and release. I've never caught and released a spider before and instead opted to vacuum it up with a vacuum cleaner. I pass the test, but I'm wondering if it's just because I have the Spider Warden emergency blanket.

I am then presented with Maggie, the zoo’s tarantula. I hold them with little difficulty. You see, tarantulas aren't really spider-like at all. They're big and slow, and it's the faster house spiders that really freak me out.

I leave the meeting with two thoughts. On the one hand, I've handled real spiders without freaking out. On the other hand, could I really be “cured” in just one afternoon? I try to remember what John told us in the session: When we see a spider, it is natural to react with surprise, but then calm would set in and override our initial reaction.

“We’ll see,” I thought, partly doubtful, partly hopeful.

Fast forward a year and I can confidently say that I am healed. I picked up a spider in my living room and left it outside, casually brushed one off a coworker's shoulder, fell asleep with one crawling in the corner of the room, and casually showered with one nearby. I can't believe it, but I'm healed. My only wish is that I had a similar session for general creepy crawlies. In a strange dichotomy, I remain quiet about spiders, be they house spiders in the UK or tarantulas in Colombia...

...but still freak out about bugs of almost every other kind.

When I'm back in London I might seek out John for another session.

Friendly Spider ProgramAdult = £135ZSL Member = £121.50 (10% discount)Concessions = £94.50 (30% discount) zsl.org/experiences/friendly-spider-programme

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