5 tips for talking to strangers

5 tips for talking to strangers

As an avid traveler, teacher and part-time photographer, I have been fortunate to meet many people from many different backgrounds. Some became lifelong friends, while many more merged into the pile of faded friendships and acquaintances we all leave behind.

That's not to say that these fleeting encounters are insignificant - even a brief conversation can prove unexpectedly insightful, or at least quite entertaining.

I wasn't always confident when talking to strangers. Traveling helped tremendously. I've visited over 50 countries, almost always alone, and while I'm certainly comfortable in my own company, I don't want to do that 24/7.

This means that if I want company on the go, I have to talk to strangers. It's the same at parties and social gatherings: we all need to talk to strangers and keep a conversation going.

Below are five important tips for talking to strangers that will help you break the ice and endear you to strangers.

1. Use names – theirs and yours

Use the other person's name several times in conversation to build an immediate connection. I admit it's a bit "telesales" but it works. It shows that you are listening and focused on them. A less common trick I use is to mention my own name in conversation.

For example, if we're talking about traveling, I might say, "Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn't like camping. She'll insist she'll be fine, but within five minutes she'll say, 'Peter, I'm cold!'"

This reminds the other person of your name, something that's easy to forget with a hasty introduction when speaking to strangers. It saves them the embarrassment of asking your name again, or worse, the awkwardness of talking to you for 20 minutes without having the slightest idea what your name is.

2. Choose groups over individuals

It's always easier to initiate a conversation with another lonely person when speaking to strangers, but opt ​​for groups whenever possible. It's much easier to have an interesting conversation with three or more people than with two.

In a group, no one wonders if they have to talk to one person all night; Everyone has the opportunity to leave the group and mingle with others without fear of being rude.

You may be hesitant to approach a couple, but just because two people are at a party or out together doesn't mean they don't want to meet other people. Try it.

3. Don't be that guy

He knows something about everything and never nothing about anything. He did your job and he probably did it better than you. He was where you vacationed last week...twice. And while he was there, he climbed the same mountain as you, but he did it in half the time... and paraglided from the summit at midnight.

We've all met one of these guys and, as the saying goes, if you haven't, it's probably you. This type of superiority is particularly widespread in backpacker circles.

It's always about who stayed in the cheapest, dirtiest place or who was invited to a local's home to eat dubious delicacies from rustic instruments of questionable hygiene. Don't be the guy who always has to have the best story; Allow others to tell theirs too. It's a conversation, not an open mic evening.

4. Avoid asking the obvious

So what are you doing? How do you know that [mutual friend]? Where do you come from?

I know it's tempting, but people's jobs probably aren't the most interesting thing about them. Personally, I start with a light-hearted comment or joke – usually about the host or someone we have in common.

I was once in the kitchen of a Swedish hostel when another guest said to the people sitting next to him, "Someone just asked me what city I would live in if I had the choice. What would yours be?"

It was a quirky and interesting way to start a conversation. Otherwise, sometimes the easiest way to make friends is to offer your fellow travelers a drink, a snack, or even a cigarette!

5. Show people that they taught you something

When someone tells you an interesting fact, show that they have taught you something. Smile and say, “I didn’t know that!”

Everyone loves feeling smart, so if people feel appreciated they will immediately warm up to you. Don't say, "Yeah, I read that a few weeks ago," even if you did. Instead, make the other person feel interesting and knowledgeable.

Once they feel comfortable, the conversation will flow more naturally and chances are good that they will actually teach you something interesting.
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