8 Expat Tips You Should Know Before You Go

8 Expat Tips You Should Know Before You Go

So many of us dream of changing our lives; to move to sunnier climes and enjoy better food, nicer people and cleaner air. Traveling countries is presented as a panacea, a balm to alleviate the ills of life.

According to the results of our ongoing expat survey, 85% of expats feel they made the right decision when moving abroad*, suggesting that expat life is indeed all that matters.

However, there are some things many expats wish they had known before flying. Here's a roundup of expat tips for anyone thinking about leaving home.

1. Even if you are in an English speaking country, communication will be difficult

We all understand and accept that moving to a country with a foreign language will be difficult. What we are less aware of is that communication is difficult, even if we speak the language. Strong accents, localized jargon, and different customs can be confusing.

An American in Scotland can nod and smile in complete confusion just as often as a Brit in Burma. Don't expect it to be easy just because you speak the language.

2. Everything will take much longer than you expect

Tracy, a medical student from Baltimore, told us: "When I moved to Oxford in the UK, everything was so hard. I couldn't get a phone contract because I didn't have an address, but I couldn't get an address because I didn't have a phone. Scenarios like that kept happening."

Conversely, Stefano, a Brit living in LA, found it difficult to get across the pond west: "For the first few months I had a British credit card, so every time I wanted to fill up my car I had to pay in advance at the counter and just guess how much gas I needed. Sometimes I was short and had to go back in. Sometimes I overpaid. The first time I had to get a refund of $15."

Expect illogical bureaucracy and painfully slow progress, at least in the first few months.

3. You will lose good friends from home

You may have known each other for 10 years and been through a dozen breakups and make-ups together, but sometimes an ocean or continent is just too much of an obstacle.

Kerry, a British expat in Australia, told us: "When I left, Sarah and I vowed that we would meet weekly and be a part of each other's lives. When she had her first daughter, I sent her flowers and a Skype invite. We tried to set something up, but things kept getting in the way. A year later, I still haven't met her daughter."

Accept that some friendships will wither and falter, but don't let that stop you from making new ones. There are hundreds of location-based expat groups on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as curated lists of people to follow on Twitter. Additionally, there are numerous online forums and organizations that cater to newcomers. Free member InterNations has the world's largest membership with 1.9 million members in 390 cities and hosts over 4,000 events throughout the year.

4. You might feel guilty

You have started a bright new life in a sunny country, leaving your parents and siblings behind. What you quickly realize is that they still have problems, but now you can't be there for them. Sure, you can send words of support, but you're not really there. This knowledge fills many expats with feelings of guilt.

Patrick, a freelance tour guide in Ecuador, told us: "My parents are retired and my dad started having problems with his knees. My mom is a nervous driver but had to take the wheel to drive him to his appointments. Knowing I'm not there for her keeps me up at night."

5. There will be sexism

It won't always be as blatant as a driving ban in Saudi Arabia; more often it will be casual sexism that surprises you. One expat we spoke to said her boss in South Korea told her that “women shouldn’t smoke in public.” Another said her principal told her she was “so beautiful.”–not entirely appropriate under the circumstances. Another expat, she was banned from after-school sports at her workplace in Qatar because she was a woman (“they were pretty open about the reason and didn’t see anything wrong with telling me”).

It's difficult to just shut up and accept this, but it can be helpful to remember that every country is still developing. Women have been able to vote in the UK for a century, but there is still a significant gender pay gap. No country is perfect, but every country is evolving, even if it is painfully slow.

6. You get the mean reds

The mean reds–Holly Golightly describes it as "terrible...suddenly you're scared and you don't know what you're scared of."

The mean reds make you question your decisions, they encourage you to feel lonely and frustrated, they ask why 10 degrees of extra heat hasn't eliminated your problems and neuroses. They indicate that you still haven't figured things out and make you doubt that you ever will.

Get out there, say yes, take a class, make friends and try things. The mean reds will still happen–but they will also pass away.

7. A cute rural village might not be right for you

Small rural villages are small and charming for a reason: expats don't move there. This reason may also explain why you don't fit in there. Sure, you want to experience the local culture, but the local culture might not want you (or don't know how). There is so much to get used to in a new country, it may be better to start in a big city with its amenities, opportunities and support systems. Once you are familiar with the local customs and language and have found your way around, you may consider moving to a small village. The transition will be far less overwhelming this way.

8. You may never be accepted

Canadian expat Keith loved his seven years in South Korea but left after realizing he would never be accepted as a local: “I spoke the language, I had a Korean girlfriend, I understood the culture, but I always wanted to be a foreigner.”

Keith told us that salespeople argued about who would help him because they were afraid he would make them speak English; that he wasn't allowed to try on clothes because he might stretch them; that waitresses would automatically bring him forks instead of chopsticks. Furthermore, Koreans of a certain age harbored visible resentment.

"The older generation's experience with foreigners is not great and so they can often be outwardly hostile. I got tired of smiling as if it didn't bother me."

• Aufschlüsselung der AntwortenIch bin sicher, dass ich die richtige Entscheidung getroffen habe: 64%Ich denke, ich habe die richtige Entscheidung getroffen: 21%Ich bin mir noch nicht sicher, ob ich die richtige oder falsche Entscheidung getroffen habe: 11%Ich denke, ich habe die falsche Entscheidung getroffen: 3% Ich bin mir sicher, dass ich die falsche Entscheidung getroffen habe: 1 %

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