What traveling me with a man about harassment on the street

What traveling me with a man about harassment on the street

I was sitting on the stairs of our Airbnb studio and lacing my sneakers for my first run since I left London four months ago. When I bound the loop, I thought to the mind: "I hope I will not be bothered."

And then I remembered: I hadn't been harassed for four months and the only reason why I had thought was that I automatically associated with harassment on the street.

My initial explanation for the four -month grace period was "men are different here" - and maybe they are, but there is another factor that could offer a better explanation: every time I was in public I was with Peter. From hiking, cycling and diving to relaxing on the beach, Peter was by my side and unconsciously granted me "protection" that I usually don't have.

believe me that the feminist annoys me to say this ("I have a man who protects me"), but the difference was surprisingly clear. Without spending time alone in the Pacific, of course I cannot say with certainty whether the calm is due to Peter or only because of a more polite culture, but I can say one thing with certainty: It's damn great.

I noticed that my life in London was somehow heavier. I felt more lovely when I walked through the streets, more alert, restless. It was not afraid or paranoia as such; Rather a coat of caution.

It is said that men are more susceptible to physical attacks on the street, and I am sure that the statistics do not lie, but what the statistics do not show is the mental burden that most women carry around in their daily life.

Sometimes the harassment is not that bad and I can joke about it:

Two men just shouted at me from the opposite side of the street. In the end, it looked like they were struggling together. I wish I could have kodaked it. - Kia Abdullah (@kiaabdullah) September 17, 2012

Sometimes it is apparently harmless, but still annoying:

men just because it seems to be as harmless as "nice" and you say it quietly does not mean that it is not a harassment. - Kia Abdullah (@kiaabdullah) August 3, 2014

And sometimes it is absolutely disgusting, something that many men have never experienced. At the beginning of this year, Laura Bates (founder of everyday sexism) wrote an article in the Guardian. In it she describes a patchwork of harassment as a "week of little needles".

When Peter read it, he commented mildly: "Wow, she is unlucky." After reading the first paragraph, he probably had the reaction that many other men-intelligent, cosmopolitan, good-natured, gentleman men-also had. I explained to her, no, she had no bad luck.

that's it. I have told him some of my more frightful experiences over the years (most of which faded in comparison to the experiences of other women).

There was the guy who followed me from the subway station at 11 p.m. and tried to stop me when I hurried for a taxi. There was the group of young people who had a megaphone in their car - a megaphone - and which, when I did not react to their sexual comments, called: "Oh, come! Look at what you are wearing!"

I hated myself on this day because the first thing I thought was okay, it's red, but there is no cleavage and I wear tights, so I don't have a leg ’ - as if a cleavage or leg would excuse her behavior. It was the same dress I was wearing when a man passed and said quietly "tits". I threw the dress away that day.

The fact that I didn't have to deal with this bullshit and all the other apparently harmless offenses made it clear to me how harmful it is, how unfair. These last four months of freedom have taught me that what I accept as a life in London is unacceptable. I am not yet sure whether this realization, this newly discovered intolerance, good or bad.

I only know that I am not looking forward to finding out.

Mission statement: Atlas & Boots

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