How to make friends in a new country

How to make friends in a new country

If you've just moved to a new country, it can be difficult to meet new people. We offer a guide on how to make friends in a new country.

Last year I wrote about the challenges of talking to strangers on the go or in unfamiliar social situations. I've shared five ways to break the ice and endear you to your new acquaintance.

Since then, a recurring question has been: How do I even get to know people? This is especially important if you have just moved to a new country.

We examined InterNations' extensive Expat Insider survey, based on data collected from over 14,000 of its 1.9 million members around the world, and put together a guide to making friends in a new country.

1. Don't be afraid of the familiar

Many expats and travelers like to brag about how they “really got under the skin of a country” or “immersed themselves in the local culture.” There seems to be a certain level of honor in cutting ties at home.

In fact, only 16% of expats say they have mostly local friends. A further 34% say they have mostly expat friends, with this number increasing the younger the expat is.

The remaining 50% say they have a mix of expats and local friends, with older expats (51 and over) generally having more local friends.

There is no shame in seeking familiarity when you arrive. It doesn't make you dull, ignorant, or insular to want friends in a similar situation or background. As time passes and you settle in, you can make more of an effort to integrate into the local culture.

A good tip is to set a time limit. Spanish expat Victor told us: "When I first arrived in London, I gave myself a maximum of three months to settle in and spend time with other Spanish expats. Because I gave myself that deadline, I tried harder to make local friends and integrate more."

2. GET SOCIAL

Expat Insider tells us that the majority of newcomers make friends while working in a new country, but there are many other channels to explore.

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Our readers recommend two main channels:

Get online: There are hundreds of location-based expat groups on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as curated lists of people to follow on Twitter. Additionally, there are numerous online forums and organizations that cater to newcomers and help them make friends in a new country.

The aforementioned and free-to-join InterNations has the largest global membership with 1.9 million members in 390 cities and hosts over 4,000 events throughout the year. Popular alternatives are expatfinder.com and meetup.com.

It's also worth following local expat bloggers, who can be a great source of information.

Take a class or join a sports team: “It's a bit of a cliché, but it works,” says Tomás, a Frenchman now living in Bogotá. "When I arrived I barely spoke Spanish, but that didn't bother me when I played with local teams. If you want to meet like-minded people who share similar hobbies and interests, then there's no easier way."

3. Think differently

It's worth expanding your idea of ​​what friends should be. Don't worry about just finding like-minded people.

Friends don't have to be the same age or have a similar background or even speak the same language. If you try, you can usually find common ground with anyone.

4. Don't be afraid of rejection

I guess if you've decided to pack up and head off to a new country, then you're not exactly a shrinking violet. However, settling into a new environment and perhaps starting a new job will always be a challenge, so you need to keep your expectations in check.

Not everyone will be friendly or welcoming. That's good. Even at home, not everyone was your friend. It's okay to meet up with someone every now and then to watch football or drink coffee; You don't have to become best friends.

5. Learn the language

Taking a language course is one of the easiest ways to make friends in a new country. It allows you to meet other expats in a similar situation and also interact more closely with locals. It's a win-win situation.

If you already speak the local language of your new country, you could try learning the second language (if you have one) and really impress the locals. In addition to taking classes or courses, language exchange options are often available that can provide a more personal and reciprocal learning experience.

6. Follow the instructions

Say yes to after-work drinks or the neighbor's offer of coffee. If a contact says they know someone in your new city you might like, follow them and see where it leads.

There may be volunteer opportunities or community events you can participate in. If you are a parent, you may be invited to school events or other children's parties. Whatever it is, follow these tracks and see where they lead.

Last but not least, this will help you get to know your new surroundings and explore your new city.

7. Talk to strangers

So you might not want to strike up a conversation with the naked guy going through your trash cans, but you should be willing to chat with people you meet along the way.

When I'm at home, I have my own circle of friends and support system, so I usually just plug in my iPhone or read the newspaper when I'm on the subway or sitting alone in a coffee shop.

When I'm traveling or in another country, I tend to look up, catch people's eyes and be more open and approachable. At social events and gatherings, mingle with as many people as possible and use some basic tricks to strike up a conversation.

8. Enjoy your own company

I feel comfortable in my own company and can spend hours, if not days, wandering around a new town or city, people watching or reading my book. Every year I spend weeks out in the wilderness with only myself for company.

This attitude is invaluable when adjusting to a new country. I'm not saying that you need to excommunicate yourself and go to the mountains to "find yourself" - just that if you feel comfortable being alone, you'll find it so much easier to settle in.

9. Don't be hard on yourself

It's important to give yourself plenty of time. Things usually don't happen overnight and may take longer than you expect. Moving to a new city or starting a new job can be daunting enough; Leaving your friends and family will probably be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Not everyone can be that person: that confident and popular extrovert who makes everything look so effortless.

10. Keep your old friends close

Even if they are thousands of miles away on the other side of the world, a good friend will always be there for you. A chat on Facebook or a quick call on Skype can do wonders and cheer you up after a lonely day or a frustrating journey home after wrestling with the ticket machine at the train station.

It's not easy to always stay in touch - you're probably in different time zones and schedules - but good friendships are precious, so nurture them as best you can.

For more articles on moving abroad, check out our remote work section: ► Most Dangerous Countries in the World ► Countries with the Best Healthcare in the World ► The Worst Countries in the World to Drive ► Peaceliest Countries in the World ► Best Countries for Women ► Poorest Countries in the World - Ranked ► Happiest Countries in the World ► The Most Powerful Passport in the World ► Countries with the Fastest Internet in the World ► The most stressed countries in the world ► The most expensive cities for expats ► The most democratic countries in the world

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